When Animals Attack

This morning on the way to work, the radio personalities were asking for animal stories which got me to thinking...

A few years back we were dispatched to some low income housing for a "medical problem". Now this kind of problem can range from a sliver in the toe (actual dispatch), to itching private parts (actual call), to my cat is sick and I am afraid I will catch whatever the cat has (actual call)... so I think you get the idea that this type of call does not rate high on the excitement scale.

We arrived on a beautiful spring afternoon to find a 30 something year old male sitting in the semi-dark of his living room. As we begin chatting about why he might need the services of three highly trained medical professionals, I noticed the very symmetrical stack of pizza boxes that had accumulated next to the lazy-boy chair. It was interesting to note that apparently if you order enough pizzas  and then stack those boxes, eventually they will be the correct height to serve as a very functional and highly stylish end table near your chair.

As amazing as the pizza box stack was, we were suddenly distracted by a "fluffing" wind like noise somewhere down the hall. Out of the gloom of the back bedroom flies the biggest parrot I have ever seen. As it sails into the living room, it takes aim at my firefighter and decides her shoulder would make a perfect roost. She ducks and tries to avoid the bird, but not to be dissuaded, it lands on her shoulder. There she is looking like a firefighter pirate, and meanwhile the conversation about how much the patient's stomach hurts continues.

At this point, I make eye contact with my firefighter, and we both start losing it. She manages to unload the bird and we both head for the door, leaving the poor engineer to continue the patient exam, while we do our best to dash outdoors to stifle the extreme case of very contagious giggles.