A Good Line

Just got back from a cardiac arrest call. At least that is what we were dispatched for. As we were getting into the engine, knowing that we were going to a care facility, we were discussing which of the two possible scenarios we would face. In these cases, we expect a very deceased person, or a person sitting up and talking.

Turns out, it was the latter. The old guy fainted, fell down, and the very excited staff began CPR right up to the point when he started complaining about it. After we arrived, it was apparent that he was doing OK, but had a rather slow heart rate and was speaking slowly due to his Parkinson's. During the our exam, he closed his eyes for a moment. The Paramedic, who is a real clown, blurts out, "don't close your eyes Bill, or someone might start pushing on your chest!"

Desperate People

It never ceases to amaze me. People pick up the phone, call 911, and expect...well, they just expect weird things sometimes. For example, a couple day ago, an apparently normal adult female called at about midnight. With her willing accomplices in the 911 center, she managed to get 3 highly trained (and paid) professionals at her door within minutes of her call. Her problem? A tiny sliver in her foot which she got from walking on barkdust. She was somewhat mystified that we were something less than willing to do on-demand exploratory surgery for something that that could not be seen with a naked eye.

In a similar oddity, although occurring several years ago, an adult female called to have her toilet seat removed. Since she lived in an apartment complex, the maintenance man had done some upgrades and replaced the toilet seat. Now, since it was new, it smelled like plastic (go figure) and that was making her nauseous. That, my friend is why we have firefighters...to deal with these desperate situations that are so vexing.